Left 4 Plants
by Shadow-Cipher
Summary: A regular girl with the abilities of a Smoker infected has been living a normal life for as long as she can remember. One day, however, a strange little man comes to visit her school and soon her whole world is turned upsidedown.


I am Shadow Cipher, but you can just call me Shadow. Last names are irrelevant anyways, for the most part. From first glances, I would seem like a fairly normal person. I have some strange interests, but nothing and no one is perfect. The only thing rather strange about me is my nighttime activities.  
Anyone who's been informed about the game Left 4 Dead will quickly know what I am about to speak of. I'm a Smoker. Yeah, that's my strange side. I spend my nights stalking the streets of my hometown, looking for someone to devour. I get hungry often and the only thing that satisfies me is human flesh. I was magically bestowed this life by a friend of mine. She's a demon and she has control over many different things, including the ability to change people into other creatures. I requested she make me a Smoker. I decided it would make me feel more alive, which is strange thing to say, I know. She accepted and here I am now a couple years later, still getting away with murder and still hiding what I am from those surrounding me. Since I still have a speck of humanity left in me, for if I was fully a Smoker I would go on a rampage and kill everyone on sight, I can hide my uncanny Smoker features. The boils, the long tongue, all of it remains hidden. I'm still a human flesh eater, though. Also, I'm not undead and I don't take kindly to being called a Zombie. Not a Zombie. I'm simply an ageless being.  
Unfortunately, because the world isn't in the middle of a Zombie apocalypse or anything of the sort, I'm stuck rotting away in White Mountain school system. Trust me, it's not a place you want to go. It's filled with rude an idiotic kids that I previously would have loved to punch. Now I wouldn't mind following them home and devouring them. Nobody but my closest friends know my secret and I plan on keeping it that way.  
Today I had once again arrived in this rotting pit of despair, already eagerly awaiting my chance to go home. It couldn't come soon enough. I'd rather be at home right now. Anywhere but here. Once I entered my classroom, which I did at a very slow pace for I was in no rush, I slammed my head on the desk, groaning loudly as I did so. Realizing people were staring, I silenced my groaning so they couldn't hear.  
"What's wrong with you?" a loud voice asked a little bitterly behind me. I was prepared to groan at the person to go away, but then I recognized the voice.  
I glanced over my shoulder to see if I was correct about who had spoken to me, and I was. Hovering behind me was one of my best friends, the person who had bestowed upon me what I am. Her name was Melody Aeon.  
That was perfectly alright. If there was anyone I had wanted to see at this moment, it would most likely be her. So with another obvious groan, I responded to her, "I'm dying of hunger over here." I sighed loudly, adding, "I really need some human flesh. All of the sudden everyone's decided it's a crime to go out at night. So I haven't eaten in several days."  
Melody sat down next to me, shaking her head as she did so. She wasn't like me. Demons didn't have to worry about hunger, but I did. Nonetheless, she understood my pain. She tilted her head to the side. "What are you going to do about that?" she inquired curiously.  
"I really don't know!" I moaned loudly in response, earning myself a few more stares from my fellow classmates. I lowered my voice and looked away from them, hoping they would too ignore me. "I'm just... it's horribly annoying. I'm hungry."  
I could tell Melody was unsure of what to say to me. She wanted to be sympathetic, she really did, but I knew that she had no way of doing so. She wasn't too good at sympathy. Instead, she simply glanced at her notebook, quietly going back to writing her story. I simply turned away from her.  
When I turned away, I glanced curious at the door, hoping I would see somebody I knew in the hallway and be able to say hello to them. That, however, was not the case. Instead, as I watched the door, in wandered an unfamiliar person, and that wasn't good, considering how small this school is.  
He was small, very small, and if it wasn't for his adult features, I might have mistaken him for one of the kids. He was definitely someone new, though. He was wearing a thick black overcoat with a hood on it, a hood which just happened to be pulled over his head, making it difficult to see many of his features. I couldn't see what kind of shirt he was wearing, or any of the hair on his abnormally large head, but I could see that he was wearing baggy white pants and fancy black shoes.  
Poking Melody in the side as I turned away from the stranger before our eyes met, I said, once she looked at me, "Who's the little guy?" I pointed in his direction and added, "The one who's at least a foot smaller then me."  
Melody gazed curiously over her shoulder in the direction I had pointed, observing the short fellow for a while. She was thinking to herself, probably trying to deduce whether or not she knew this fellow. Finally, she replied, "I have no idea."  
Whoever the short fellow was, I just now noticed that he was watching me closely. I had noticed the strange way he had searched around the room, looking from table to table, unmoving, except for his eyes. He finally paused on my particular table, but ignored the other three kids sitting at it.  
He was just starting to eyeball another kid at the table, which really helped ease my paranoia that he was staring at me in particular, when the teacher waltzed into the room. Normally I would notice these things right away, but I couldn't help but continuously glance at the short fellow. The teacher walked up beside the man and paused, snapping his fingers. He waited for the class to quiet down before speaking.  
The teacher cleared his throat. Eventually, he spoke up, signaling to the short man beside him as he spoke. "Class, this is Mr. Z." the teacher began. I wondered what the Z stood for and why7 he refused to let anyone know his full last name. "He's here from the school board to examine the class and see how well I've been teaching you. Don't bother him and I promise that he won't bother you." Glancing down at the small man, the teacher asked, "If there anything else I forgot?"  
The small man eyed the class for a moment, like he was debating which kids were the troublemakers. He then, without speaking, shook his head no.  
"Alright then!" the teacher said with a stiff nod. "Let's move on." He walked away from the short man, who was watching his every move like a hawk. "Right now you'll be doing silent work. I've already placed the papers on your desk. Please take one and begin." He then wandered off to his desk.  
Melody turned to me, ignoring the papers on the desk. I took a paper and handed her one, which she didn't really seem to care about. She then said, "I wonder what exactly he's looking for."  
I shrugged unknowingly. I never liked people from the school board. They always stared at people awkwardly, especially if they said or did something even the least bit wrong. It was unnerving. I had to keep quiet. "I don't know." I admitted. "He looks like he's looking for a particular student or something."  
Suddenly, Melody nudged me in the side. I grunted angrily at her, but then noticed the worried expression on her face and lightened up. "If that's true, then I think he just found who he was looking for." Melody said to me.  
"Wait, who?" I asked furiously, looking up immediately. It didn't take long for my eyes to find the short man, who had wandered a short distance from where he had initially been sitting. When I finally spotted him, I quickly turned around, facing away from him. He was back to staring at me, and intensely too I might add. "He's watching me, isn't he?" I asked with a shake of the head.  
Melody didn't need to glance back to know I was right. Instead, she simply nodded at me in response.  
I tried to ignore the man, to focus instead on my work and hope that maybe he would lose interest in me. They usually did. I don't know what I did to catch his attention, but I would have to hope that doing something incredibly monotonous would make him look away. He never looked away, though. It was incredibly difficult to pay attention to anything when you know for a fact that there's some creepy little guy giving you the evil eye from behind and staring at you like an animal in a zoo.  
For a moment, I paused my work. I nonchalantly shoved my pointer finger in my mouth, nibbling at it gently. It was kind of an anxiety release activity and I had plenty of anxiety on hand. I was only going to nibble on it for a could of seconds, then return to my work, but then I realized that my flesh is technically human, a little bit anyways, and it tasted perfectly good. So I continued nibbling ignorantly.  
I must have started biting on my finger pretty hard, though I never noticed these things because I don't feel pain. I know this, though, because Melody pushed against me violently. I instantly took my finger out of my mouth and looked at her grumpily, ready to hiss at her for disturbing me.  
"Shadow! Calm yourself." Melody said as I prepared my harsh comeback for her pushing me. I was curious for a moment, uncertain of what I had done, then she added, "If you bite on that finger any harder it's going to break off in your mouth. I know your hungry, but don't resort to self cannibalism to calm your hunger." She smiled for a moment at her own comment, then return to her serious stare.  
I looked at my finger, which was covered in deep teeth marks. Now noticing what I had done wrong, I muttered quietly to myself, "Oh... My bad."  
Too embarrassed to look Melody in the face, for I knew what I did had been wrong and disgusting, I turned away from her. Unfortunately, I just happened to turn right back to Mr. Z and immediately I felt unnerved again. He wasn't looking at me anymore, but was instead scribbling something down in a notepad, stopping occasionally to look up at me. I didn't feel comfortable with him watching me as he wrote, so I turned back to my desk silently.  
I grabbed on to a bit of loose skin on my finger. I absolutely hated loose skin and it was a pet peeve of mine. If I saw it, I had to bite it off. I tore back, ripping the loose skin away. I then swallowed the skin quickly before anyone could look at me strangely. I wrapped my lips around the skinless area, for it was bleeding. I was no vampire, but I still liked the taste of blood and thus I sat there for a while, drinking my own blood.  
I drew my head back abruptly, releasing my grip on my finger. My nose twitched slightly and I knew a sneeze was coming. I swallowed some air greedily, hoping to stop the sneeze, but to no avail. I suddnly sneezed loudly, saliva cascading all over my paper. Oh, that's lovely. Another assignment covered in spit. My nose began to run slightly, and it usually did that after I sneezed. Nothing strange about that.  
Before I could think or do anything about my nose, I sneezed again. I was taken aback by the second sneeze, but I don't know why. I always sneeze twice. I heaved a sigh.  
Turning in my direction, looking at me with a smile on her face, Melody said, "Bless you Shadow." She then returned to focusing on her work.  
I glanced around to see how many people were watching me. Whenever you sneezed, you always got looks from the other classmates, especially the girly girls, who thought sneezing was gross... like they never sneeze. Amazingly, nobody was watching, well, nobody but him anyways. I really needed to deal with this running nose problem in a way that didn't make everyone stare. So blowing my nose was out of the question. I knew what to do, but he couldn't be watching.  
"Hey, Mr. Z!" I called out quietly to the small man, leaning against the back of my chair. Before he could fully acknowledge that it was me speaking to him, I called in hushed tones, "Look!"  
He turned back, shockingly, looking for whatever he was supposed to be looking for. I immediately searched the room. Nobody was watching me. Not the teacher, not the kids at my table, not even Melody. With that confirmed, I shot out my tongue, forcing it up my nose and covering it in all the wonders inside my nose. I then reeled it back into my mouth before anyone could see and swallowed innocently.  
I hazarded a glance at Mr. Z and came to see that he was smirking slightly, now gazing back in my direction. He then looked back down at his notebook, writing down another note with silence and great speed.  
That was when I started to grow suspicious of the seemingly innocent man. He just had to be taking notes on me and while a member of the school board taking notes on a student was not strange, the fact that he had taken several notes on me alone was. I decided to test to see if he was really that interested in me and my activities with a few experiments. What to do?  
I ran my fingers across the top of the desk, pushing aside my mechanical pencil at my fingers touched it. I rasped at the desk as I pondered many different ideas thoughtfully. Many ideas raced through my mind and as usual, none of them were what I was looking for, not really what I needed. Then, out of nowhere, I got it. The perfect idea.  
I was really going to hate this, but it was all for a good cause. I inhaled sharply, taking in as much oxygen as I physically could. As I did that, I could feel myself begin to lose my breath. That always happened when I inhaled sharply, a loss of breath, and then... I could feel my lungs filling with smoke. I breathed rapidly, trying to get my breathing back on course, to replace the smoke filling my lungs with pure oxygen instead, to stop myself from choking.  
Pretty soon, however, my lungs were filled with smoke and I couldn't help but start coughing uncontrollably from all the smoke. It grew louder and louder and several seconds later my coughing fit was still raging on. It continued and was drawing the attention of many others students.  
Eventually, Melody took notice of my horrid coughing. "Hey, are you alright, Shadow?" When all I could manage to do it shake my head no, she immediately knew what was going on with me. She smacked me violently on the back, a trick one of my Smoker friends had taught us when I first broke into a coughing fit. She continued to slap me until I calmed down, inhaling oxygen and replacing the smoke.  
"Thanks." I said with a small cough. She looked at me with concern lit up in her eyes, but I assured I was alright.  
Knowing I was alright now, she looked away from me and turned her attention back to her paper. I once gain turned my attention to the little hooded fellow in the back of the room to see if my wild coughing had gotten any reaction out of him.  
Sure enough, it had. He had reacted to my coughing fit with lightning speed. I watched as he swung out that notepad of his and once more took to writing down on it. He glanced at me as he jotted something down on that notepad and I had absolutely no doubts in my mind that whatever he was writing was about me.  
The instant he started writing, I elbowed Melody subtly in the side, glancing between her and Mr. Z as I waited for either him to stop writing or her to pay attention to me. She glanced up, huffly furiously at me, but she was looking at that's all that matters. "That little hooded dude over there is taking notes on me." I whispered to her, getting right to the point while making certain nobody could hear us, especially Mr. Z. "I purposely started coughing to see what he would do and right after I calmed down, he started writing in that notepad of his."  
It took a few moments for Melody to register what I was saying to her. Once it was all accounted for in her brain, she glanced at Mr. Z for a few seconds, then returned her gaze to me. "Why you" she asked inquisitively. "What else have you noticed him writing down?"  
"Whenever I do something particularly odd, he starts writing something in his notebook." I noted to her. "It's beginning to creep me out."  
With a sheepish laugh and an unknowing shrug, Melody added, "I don't know. Maybe he's just really bored. You write when you're bored."  
"Yeah, about stuff that interests me, not other people I hardly know." I answered. I then glared at her and added, "He's bored, so he's writing about me? What makes me an interesting topic?"  
I was shocked to find Melody acting so nonchalant about the situation. Usually she was so on top of strange things, especially between the two of us. We were, in a way, guardians for one another. I kept at eye out for strange things about her and she did the same for me. In the slightest, she could have responded negatively to my sarcasm. It would've seemed all the more normal. "Well, I just don't know." she said.  
Shrugging at her, for she was being absolutely no help whatsoever, I gave up on her and said, "Eh, whatever."  
Right as I gave up on Melody and turned to focus on my work again, I happened to notice out of the corner of my eye that the teacher was heading towards the front of the room. Nonetheless, I couldn't stop myself from repeatedly glancing back at this Mr. Z character. I simply couldn't stand the strange way he was staring at me. He stopped looking at me for a split second, pushing his overcoat over his shirt, which I could now see was also white. Then he went right back to staring at me.  
"Shadow..." He wouldn't stop staring at me, those unblinking eyes focused on my figure. "Shadow...!" He doesn't blink at all. No, wait, he just blinked. That was definitely a blink. "Shadow...!" Huh? Did someone say something? No, it was probably nothing. "Shadow Cipher!"  
I glanced up at the sound of my name being howled across the room. I shrunk back in my seat as my fellow classmates stared at me. Ok, so maybe I had been tuning out the class just a little bit. So?  
"Did you even hear a word I said?" the teacher asked me with a loud huff. He glared at me knowingly, his face saying that he already knew that answer.  
I couldn't take this much longer. Maybe nobody else cared, but I didn't particularly like being stared at. I decided it was finally time to expose you know who for staring at me. I leapt to my feet, pointed accusingly at Mr. Z, and yelled, "It's really difficult with Senior Stares-A-Lot staring a piercing hole through me."  
Of course, the teacher just had to single me out as the villain here. Sure, there was someone staring at me, but I couldn't get away with name calling, not even in this situation. He said, "It's rude to call people names. This is your first warning. Second warning you lose your opportunity to earn tickets and third warning-"  
"It's an office referral. I know." I groaned loudly. Frankly, I didn't give two cents about losing the chance to earn tickets. They're a waste of time anyways, and going to the office would be a nice reprieve because at least Mr. Z wouldn't be there to stare at me. "It's nothing we all haven't heard a thousand times before." Noticing his darkly glare, I added, "No offense, or anything."  
The teacher glared at me for a few more second, then he eventually decided I wasn't worth the trouble and moved on. He turned to face Mr. Z. "Mr. Z." he began calmly. I suddenly started to wonder again what the Z was short for or if Z was really his last name. If that was the case was his first name 'Wizard of' and his last name 'O'? I really didn't come here for a brain, a heart, or courage." Wizard of Oz? Get it... Ok, I'm not funny. "Would you mind moving to the other side of the class for a while?"  
"Of course." this so-called Mr. Z agreed simply, speaking in a very raspy tone of the voice. This was the first time, I realized, that I had heard him speak. His voice was unnerving as well. Luckily, he quickly moved to the opposite side of the room, but something told me that wouldn't stop him from staring.  
Once that was all in order, the teacher began by saying, "Now that that's all done, let's begin out group discussion on the papers you were working on. Surely you've completed them all by now." I hadn't. I wasn't even close. I hadn't noticed how uncomfortable this whole Mr. Z thing had made me. I sank down in my seat, hoping the teacher would ignore me. There marked the beginning of a long, dull, and uneventful class that I shall spare you the agonizing details of.  
Nothing between that particular class and lunch was very interesting either. I went to several other classes, following my homeroom around from place to place. This was a very bizarre school. There weren't a lot of students, so all students in one grade stayed together and traveled as a class. The only good thing about the day, in fact, was that the creepy little hooded guy was trapped in the other room, so I was able to go that entire time without him staring at me. My nerves were finally calming.  
If I ever did anything wrong, however, karma decided to get me back for it today. As I left the last class before lunch, staring towards the lunch room, an announcement decided to inform me that we would be eating lunch in home room and you'll never guess which class is my home room.  
I decided to follow Melody as she went to get her lunch. I sort of had to, since she had my lunch as well. I was trying to save on lunch costs and avoid my parents' horrible lunches by asking her to bring me lunch and she always did. It was nice, but sometimes I got a horrible surprise.  
As the two of us neared the table where all the lunches were sitting, I came to a nasty surprise. I don't know why, but the creepy little dude from home room was standing subtly right next to the lunch table, seemingly oblivious as kids came and collected their lunches. He was standing to the left of the table, looking up at the ceiling as though no one else mattered.  
He must have noticed me watching him, or something else had happened to bother him, because he suddenly jumped up in surprise and turned his eyes towards the stairs. I watched as he hustled himself down the stairs towards the lunch rooms we wouldn't be using today and out of sight.  
"Why was Sir Shorty lurking by the lunch table?" I asked Melody once he was out of sight, watching her as she picked up our lunches.  
Melody glanced around curiously and it was then I noticed that Melody hadn't even noticed him standing there in the first place. I kept reminding myself that other people didn't' give two cents about him because he was of no trouble to them, but that thought never quite processed in my brain. "Maybe he left his lunch on the table." suggested Melody with a shrug and a playful smile. As she picked up my lunch, I now realized mine was the one Mr. Z was leaning towards. That worried me.  
I couldn't help buy eye the seemingly innocent paper bag with suspicion as Melody handed it to me. I was still very worried about how close Mr. Z had been to my lunch. I wanted to doubt that he knew that was my lunch, but somehow I just couldn't convince myself. I would simply have to check it out later.  
Melody and I made our way to our home room, my pace a little faster then hers. I quickly sat down at my table, Melody taking a seat next to me. I eyed the bag once more. After a few seconds of eyeing the bag, and knowing that was getting me nowhere, I instead peered into the bag. I pulled the opening apart and it certainly didn't take me long to spot what was wrong.  
Sitting in the bag on top of a blue Tupperware container was a large chunk of meat. That on it's own was strange. I pushed my nose into the bag, inhaling deeply to see exactly what kind of meat was in the bag. I nudged myself forward a little as the scent engulfed my nose. Then, noticing what I was doing, I drew back a little. It wasn't just any meat. It was human flesh.  
I jerked back entirely this time, trying to mask the scream building in the back of my throat as I did so. I wanted to create as much distance between myself and the chunk of meat as possible. I glanced at Melody, but she seemed blissfully ignorant to what was going on, just as she always was. It was then I heard the classroom door open and I couldn't help but glance back to see who was entering, and of course, of all people, it was little old Mr. Z that entered.  
Nervously, I tapped on Melody's shoulder. She ignored me and I tapped on her shoulder once again, tapping more furiously and more quickly until she finally glanced up at me. She was glaring, which I understood. Once she was finally paying attention, I said worriedly, "Melody, he knows."  
"Knows what?" Melody asked me with a tilt of the head, swallowing a bite of food as she did so.  
"The little dude, Mr. Z." I began, using my head to signal towards him as though that would be more subtle then pointing. It really wasn't, but it was too late to change my mind now. "He knows what I am. Look in the bag." I pushed the bag towards her, added, "He put a chunk of human flesh in my lunch bag."  
Melody glanced curiously inside the back, a look of uncertainty outlined on her face. She peeled it open, glancing at the contents within. A few moments passed as she stared at the bag, then she looked back at me, wanting to offer me words of sympathy, but having none to offer. She instead gave me a depraved expression and then returned her focus to her own lunch.  
I was now furious and I didn't want Mr. Z thinking he could just move in on me whenever he felt like. Ignoring the voice inside me that told me not to confront him, I reached inside the bag and picked up the chunk of human flesh, trying to not sniff in. I then rose from my seat and approached the little dude bravely, dropping the chunk of human flesh in his hands, which weren't expecting anything as such. "I believe this belongs to you." I grumbled darkly, then walked back to my seat.  
Afterwards, I took my seat next to Melody again, trying to push the thoughts out of my mind of what I had just done and what consequences it might have. I hazarded a glance back at Mr. Z and came to see that he seemed shocked. He glanced around the room to see if anyone was watching, then stuffed the chunk of meat into a large pocket. He pulled out his notepad, furiously scrawling on it as though something had seriously ticked him off. I was both happy and furious with myself.  
For a while, I slammed my head into the desk, not even bothering to eat my lunch. My stomach was churning too much to even think about doing so. The little hooded dude walked out, but I hardly even noticed since I was far too busy seeing is I could spill my own blood on my desk as I smashed my face repeatedly against it.

Eventually I stopped inflicting harm upon myself, not that I could even feel the sensation of my head slamming against the desk repeatedly, and rose from my seat. I left the room without so much as informing the teacher, which I really could've cared less about because I didn't see why I had to tell the teacher every time I went to get a freaking drink of water. Halfway down the hall, despite the fact that I wasn't paying attention since I was glancing into the room one of my other friends was in, the little dude came up the hallway in my general direction.

When I glanced up as I stopped looking into the other room, mostly because the teacher in the room was looking at me and I hated that teacher with a passion, the little dude smacked up against my lower arm. It caught my attention quickly.

With a subtle smirk, he apologized to me, "Did I bump you? That was my bad." He then continued on like it was nothing.

"Ugh!" I groaned loudly, watching as he walked back up the hallway and back into my home room. "What the heck was that all about?"

I shrugged, knowing that I would probably never know what that was all about. So instead of worrying about it, I just went and got my drink, which did absolutely nothing to calm me down. As I walked back towards the class, I kept catching a delicious scent. I couldn't quite tell where it was coming from, but it was haunting my nose the entire time I walked. It took me a while, but I eventually realized where the scent was coming from. Lifting up my arm, I sniffed curiously. It was coming from my lower arm indeed, right where Mr. Z had slapped it by supposed mistake.

My arm smelled strongly of fresh human blood and while it sort of disturbed me, I also piped my interest at the same time. I badly wanted to feast upon whoever the blood at come from, especially if it was that meddling Mr. Z character. I couldn't, unfortunately, for not only did I not know who the blood belonged to, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't devour people in the middle of the day. So instead I just took my arm in my mouth and began to lick at it.

I stopped dead in front of the door, quickly taking my arm our of my mouth, for I not only realized how strange that looked, but I had a guest. Waiting in the doorway was the short man. He was watching me silently, an accusing look on his face. No matter how much I tried to hide it, he already saw me sucking on my arm and that was suspicious on its own. "You still deny yourself?" he began. "After all of this, you still deny yourself?" He shook his head. "Despicable." He then turned around and wandered back into the classroom like nothing had ever happened.

Now fear was beginning to slowly creep its way down my spine. I couldn't deny it any longer. When I entered the classroom, he was of course staring at me, twirling his notepad in his hand. He had a devilish smirk on his face as he watched me cross the room. Fear prickled through my skin as I snuck past him, my head held low and my eyes curiously watching him. I took my seat, but simply couldn't find solace.

I couldn't stop looking back at little Mr. Z. He knew my secret. He knew it and there was no getting around it. I felt like there was no way he was going to let it slide by. One way or another, he was going to make it clear. Whatever his intentions were. Continuously, I glanced back at his disapproving stares and comfort slowly dripped away.

Just now it occurred to me that the teacher was no longer in the room. I don't know when he left or for what purpose, but he was gone, leaving the only adult in the room to be Mr. Z, which didn't help my nervous shivering at all. I tried to look away as he wandered across the room, for I was hoping he would avoid me. He was nearing the door, and when he finally made his way to the door, he pulled it closed. That was suspicious enough, but even more unnerving was the fact that he blocked the door with a chair. He was up to something and there was no denying it.

Mr. Z turned around, facing the class. Some of the kids were now looking at him, probably wondering why he had blocked the door. What was he going to do? I knew. He began to approach me and I swallowed nervously. Soon he was inches away from me and I was out of my seat, backing up to avoid him. Now the entire class was staring, wondering in the back of their minds just what exactly was going on. They continued to stare in confusion.

I abruptly slammed up against the wall. I hadn't even noticed that I had backed myself all the way across the classroom, but I had. He stopped, leaving approximately five feet or so between us. "Are you ready to tell the class?" He asked with a mischievous smile. "Would you like to share your secret first, or should I?"

Everyone remained confused. What secrets were the two of us harboring? I was too timid, too scared of him to form a valid reply. What exactly was he hiding?

Mr. Z tilted his head a trifle to the side, smiling in my direction. "No?" he asked, still smiling at me. "I'll begin, then. I have a degree in thanatology, the study of death." I swore I had heard word before, but I couldn't quite place a finger on it. Where had I heard the word thanatology before? "In my case, the undead. Therefore, you." He then pulled at his overcoat, taking it completely off. He revealed that his white shirt underneath was not a shirt, but instead a stark white lab coat. He also revealed his head, completely devoid of hair and mostly devoid of skin. Where there should have been skin on top of his head, there was instead a pulsing pink organ, which I assumed to be his brain, but it was abnormally large.

I yelped loudly at the sight of his head. Many of the kids in the room gasped, having never seen something so abnormal before. Neither had I. This was just as disturbing to me as it was to most of them.

"Now that I've revealed myself, how about you?" he asked with a cheeky smirk. I remained frozen as he took a step towards me. "You know, I've been studying your kind for as long as I can remember, and never before have I seen a breed quite like yours. You're interesting, so to say."

Shaking my head, I refused to reveal myself and rejected that I had any clue what he was talking about. The kids were looking between the two of us, some still disturbed by the abnormal organ on his head and others interested in what exactly I was going to do. "I have no idea what you're talking about." I said, attempting to take a step back but blocked by the wall waiting behind me.

He simply chuckled and smirked in my direction. I tried to keep my breathing even and act nonchalant. Hopefully the teacher would return soon, find a way past the barricade, and stop this nonsense. "Really? If that's so then you won't mind if I clean out my pockets." I stared at him suspiciously as he spoke, wondering what he could be up to. Glances were still spread between him and myself. He dug inside his lab coat pocket. "Coins, don't need these. Seed packet, really not sure why I have this. Empty vial, not quite what I was looking for. Pencil, no. Notepad, no." I watched as he threw most of the various items on the floor as he searched his pockets for something in particular, something which he finally found. "Chunk of human flesh. That shouldn't concern you, now should it?"

Unlike last time, the smell of the human flesh was very haunting. I don't know what, but something had happened to that chunk of flesh while it had been rotting in his pocket that made it all the more appealing. It now smelled like an irresistible delicacy.

I flinched back from the meat as he threw it on the floor. The entire room was watching and waiting, all eyes focused now on me. I imagined some of the kids still weren't quite too certain what was going on. They all, however, seemed eager to learn who was right and who was wrong, who was lying, and who had something to hide. I had to remain strong. I took a deep breath to relax myself.

I attempted to ignore that subtly twitching of my nose, the haunting scent that was delving into my system and taunting me. It was so difficult to ignore. The scent was just so appealing to me, especially since it had been a while since I had last eaten. I clenched my first hatefully, trying to keep my cool. It was just… so… difficult…

Never did I notice myself inching slowly towards the chunk of meat. Mr. Z saw and smiled as I did, and the rest of the class was watching me suspiciously, wondering what I would do. Sure enough, I was indeed inching closer and closer to it. Something that once sat several feet away from me was now almost underfoot.

When I was easily less then a foot away from the chunk of human flesh, the scent was overpowering. I twitched several times, trying to stop myself from doing what I so badly wanted to do. I clenched my fist tighter and winced, but nothing seemed to help. With a furious growl, I leaped upon the hunk of flesh. My hunger was raging over me. I grabbed on to the flesh with me sharp teeth, tearing off bits and pieces of the human flesh and ravenously devouring them, swallowing quickly.

While I was feeding upon the human flesh, my Smoker features began to show. It's something I can't control. It's why I only feed in darkness. When I feast upon human flesh, I can't help but show my other side. I never had enough self control to control that. The vision in my right eye began to fade. I could feel the tongues on my head growing, swaying from side to side as I fed. I sloppily licked the chunk of human flesh as my main tongue grew longer.

It never occurred to me that I was greatly revealing myself by doing this, that Mr. Z had tricked me into showing what I really was. I didn't even notice that my Smoker features were showing until I swallowed the last bit of flesh, licking my mouth with my extended tongue.

I then stopped dead, frozen in my act. I blinked, looking at the bloody mess of flesh in front of me. I had devoured human flesh in front of the class. Quickly, I got to my feet, drawing away from the fleshy remains with a revolting snarl. It was too late, however. The class had already seen and horror haunted their eyes.

"Well, look at that." Mr. Z smirked, putting his hands together as he took a step closer to me. "What an interesting breed you are. I suspected there was something off about you, but never did I expect this. I've never seen anything like you in my life. I'll really enjoy putting you to study."

I didn't like the way he was referring to me, like I was just a new organism to be studied. I also didn't like the sound of being studied by someone who specialized in the undead. It was highly unnerving and I wouldn't let him do it. I bore my teeth, hissing and spitting furiously at him. If he wanted a fight, let him have one.

For the first time since he revealed himself, I noticed there was some kind of electronic device on his arm. His hand was resting over it as lights flashed in different colors. I wasn't sure of what it was and I really didn't want to find out.

"Understand this, my undead friend." Mr. Z began, and I resisted the urge to scream at him that I wasn't undead. I decided against it, however, for I didn't want to reveal anymore to him and to my classmates then I already had. He had already taken away school from me. He would take nothing else. "If you don't come with me quietly, I will use this." He indicated to the device on his arm. "It's clear to me your class wants nothing to do with you anymore."

Could I say anything? Could I do anything? There weren't many options in a situation like this. Clenching my teeth, I spat in Mr. Z's direction, "Kiss my royal hind end!"

"You won't make this easy and simple?" Mr. Z asked with that cheeky and coy grin of his. He already knew my answer, but I wanted to make myself clear.

"Obviously, I replied calmly, glaring steadily at him. What mental part of his brain actually made him think I was going to gallivant off with him to goodness knows where? If he thought that, he was dumber then I initially thought him to be.

Unconditionally, he threw me another one of his smirks. I was getting really tired of seeing him smirk. I wanted to punch those coy little smirks right off of his face. He was ready to fight to the finish, that much was clear, and if the little fellow wanted a fight, then I would give him one he would never forget.

When he moved, even if it was only by a little bit, I drew back, arching my back and hissing at him like a furious cat. I was in a battle stance now, prepared to take him on and whatever tactics he had up his sleeve. Now that class was watching intensely, interested to see who would rise victorious. I patiently waited for the first strike.

He wouldn't move, though. Not even in the slightest. He remained where he was eyeing me as he had before. Was he waiting for me to make the first move or was it a bluff of sorts? I couldn't be quite sure. Whatever it was, I wouldn't be putting up with his nonsense for much longer.

With a furious screech, I launched myself at him. He made no motion to dodge my attack. He didn't seem the least bit worried about the oncoming strike. I was closing in on him quickly and I was wondering if he was ever going to respond or if he was just going to let himself get hit. Right before I reached him, I bashed my head on something metallic, and that's when I knew he had defended himself.

I glanced up to see he was suddenly holding, of all things, a screen door. The screen door had been broken off its hinges, obviously, and I was trying to figure out where it had come from. He reached down, pressing a button on the strange mechanical device on his arm. I watching in awe as the door shrunk, vanishing into in thin air as though it had never existed to begin with. How in the world did a door just vanish?

"What in the world!?" I yelped in pure astonishment. I was at a loss for words. I wasn't sure how to counteract this. Not only had he created a door out of seemingly nothing, but he had just as quickly disposed of it.

I quickly shot out my tongue at him. He spun wistfully, just barely dodging my attack. This time, however, the amazement shoe was on the other foot, for he had never seen anything quite like me.

He smirked, however, saying, "Ah, so that's what those tongues are for." I bet he was wondering what they did.

"Actually, only the one in my mouth can do that." I immediately mentally smacked myself in the face, for I knew I shouldn't be telling him any more then he already knew. Figuring, though, that I had already ruined enough, I decided why not to ruin it even more. "The others are actually pretty much worthless."

I once again earned myself another one of his evil smirks, which were bothering me. "I see." he muttered in response. He then pressed a different button on the device on his arm, and this time I was amazed to see a pogo stick materializing out of thin air. How was that possible? Ignoring the lack of logic, I once more shot my tongue at him, ready to grab the pogo stick and yank it out of his grip. He quickly jumped on to the pogo stick and launched himself into a bounce, avoiding my attack.

To add to the insult of missing, he landed right on my tongue. That was a pain I could feel and I screeched loudly as the pogo stick dug into my tongue and he once more launched into the sky. I swung a clawed hand at him as he bounced away, but easily dodged my strike. Furious, I continued to launch more attacks at him.

With that blasted pogo stick of his, he was able to easily leap away from all my attacks. Whether I swung my claws at him or shot my tongue out, he dodged and it seemed almost every time I dared to use my tongue as an attack tactic, he would land on it once again. He was bouncing all over the room.

I took another wild swing at the pogo stick as he landed near me, hoping I would hit him before he was able to launch away again. Luck was, fortunately, on my side. My wild flailing strike connected with the pogo stick in mid-bounce. I watched as he stumbled off the pogo stick, the device falling to the ground. He flailed wildly as he went flying through the sky, yelping loudly.

He soon gained control of himself, however, and he pressed a button as he was flying through the air. Abruptly, his descend came to a halt and he floated nonchalantly in the air. I looked up to see that a single red balloon had now materialized from nowhere. I had to wonder just how many different things this button could conjure. Screen doors, pogo sticks, balloons… It was as though he had an answer for everything. I shot my tongue out at him since he was floating mindlessly in one spot, unable to flee or dodge.

Unfortunately for me, he managed to grab hold of my tongue as it neared him. I could feel his grimy little fingers wrapped around my tongue. I knew what was coming, so I flinched slightly as he pulled back. With a prominent rip, my tongue was torn off.

I released a furious scream, arching back my head and jerking my back. The pain was only a momentary thing, however, and it quickly subsided. I shook my head as I tried to return my senses and soon fell back to a calm state of mind.

"There we go." Mr. Z said certainly, throwing me a devious smile. "That should kill whatever strategy you had in mind." I knew how wrong he was, though. He didn't know, but I knew.

The cheeky grin was on my face this time, and it was a good feeling. My tongue slowly grew back out to its regular length. I could see the smile on his face vanish, to be replaced with a look of pure astonishment. My tongue was now back to its full length. It was a natural ability of mine. Rip off the tongue as many times as you like because I'll simply keep growing it back.

"How in the world?" he asked in shock, taking a step backwards. He then examined me closely, as though he was hallucinating my tongue being back.

With a smile, a smile that sure felt good, I explained, "It's a gift. It'll just keep growing back." He would take it or leave it." Personally, it didn't matter to me.

Unfortunately for me, he wasn't going to let my little gift of re-growing my tongue get in his way. He reached for the mechanical device on his arm, pressing another button and allowing something else to materialize out of thin air. This time, a ladder came to be. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. How did a ladder come from nowhere? How was that logical? How was it possible… at all?

Nevertheless, no stupid ladder was going to stop me from taking him down and gaining my dominance over him. He could create a million ladders and it wouldn't mean a thing. I quickly shot my tongue out at him. He didn't seem bothered, however. He simply twirled the ladder like it was a baton, blocking my attack with ease. Several times he used the ladder to block my strikes. One right after another.

Eventually, good luck decided to side with me instead, for when I shot my tongue at him, it wasn't blocked by the ladder. My tongue broke through a gap in the ladder, wrapping around Mr. Z and almost causing him to lose his grip on the ladder. I yanked my head back, pulling him towards me, but since there was a ladder blocking his way, he instead smashed against the ladder several times.

He was making many failed attempts to press a button, any button I would bet, on the mechanical device on his arm. I had his arms locked to his side, though he was slowly pulling apart my grip. His fingers weakly trembled, trying their hardest to reach the button. I pulled back once more.

Unfortunately, in the time I pulled him back, he finally got his finger on the device and pressed down weakly on a button. I doubt he knew which button he was pressing nor did he care, but he had pressed a button and that was all that mattered.

He jerked forward suddenly, allowing the ladder in between us the bash against my head the same way his head had smashed into it. Loudly and painfully did my head smash against the ladder, but only once. I was shocked to feel the snapping of my tongue shortly thereafter.

I made an attempt to retaliate against him before he could summon forth something else randomly. Before I could, though I felt something metallic bash against the side of my head, smaller, but still something. With another smash against my head, I collapsed to the floor. I was bleeding slightly, a strange green blood, but I tried to ignore it. Why wasn't he bleeding? I had wounded him several times. I looked up just in time to get whacked over the head against by what appeared to be a vaulting pole.

Before I could get back to my feet, I felt his shoe press strongly against my back. With a yelp, I crashed to the ground on my stomach, releasing a huff as I made contact with the ground. He then pulled back my arms.

Of course, I couldn't quickly tell he was binding my arms and that was when I realized I had lost. I looked up weakly to see the entire class staring at me. I wasn't certain of their feelings towards my defeat. Most of their faces remained ever emotionless. After he finished binding my arms together, he then bound them against my torso for added measure. Mr. Z then pulled me up to a sitting position. I viciously bared my teeth at him, but before I could bite him as I desired to, he forced a handkerchief into my mouth, tying it around the back of my head.

"Who wins now?" he asked with another one of his smirks. He turned around, then glanced at me over his shoulder. "By the way, you should pass out by the time I finish this sentence." Another smile.

Sure enough, I could feel myself slipping into blackness as soon as he finished his sentence. I cursed him in my head, then faded away…

I woke up later, uncertain of how much time had passed or where I was. Wherever I was located was a very quiet setting, silence haunting the room. I searched the room, but couldn't see much from my position. I was no longer bound by ropes, nor did I have a handkerchief in my mouth, but I was still immobile. Now, my arms and legs were spread slightly and locked down by thick, unbreakable, cuffs. I struggled to move, but couldn't. It didn't take me long to realize I was locked down to a table.

There was an absolutely horrible tasting substance rubbed all over my tongue. I coughed and gagged at the taste of it, but nothing would rid me of it. All I knew was that this stuff, whatever it was, was preventing me from growing out my tongue.

My lower stomach had a strange tingling feeling to it, kind of like the feeling of pins and needles on your feet. I wanted badly to reach down and run my hand over it, as though that would somehow numb the feeling. Of course, I couldn't. My wrists were still bound down by the cuffs. Something seriously felt wrong down there.

I glanced up curiously as I heard the sound of a door opening. The sound was quiet and didn't disturb the peace of the room, but I heard it nonetheless and looked to see who was coming for me. Naturally, in walked Mr. Z, carrying what appeared to be a jar full of yellow and green smoke, probably my own smoke.

He silently approached a long messy table, acting as though he didn't even notice my presence in the room. I watched him as he sat the jar next to what appeared to be small vials of green colored blood, also probably my own, and what appeared to be some sort of organ, hopefully not mine. I'm no organ master, so I don't know exactly what organ it was. I was simply praying it hadn't come out of my body. He pushed the jar carefully in between the other objects.

Picking up one of the supposed vials of my blood, he overlooked it curiously, tilting it to the side. When he seemed pleased with it, he turned around, approaching me. I resumed my struggles, but only for a moment, stopping when he stopped at my side. "You were out longer then I thought you would be." he commented nonchalantly. "It gave me time to compare blood samples and harvest one of your minor organs. You won't miss it." So the organ in the jar was mine. That probably explained the tingling feeling in my chest. He must have cut me open while I was still knocked out. "I still can't figure out what kind of Zombie you are."

"What do you want with me?" I whined timidly, showing my fear clearly. I knew I probably shouldn't be showing fear near him, but I couldn't help myself. I returned to my struggles against the cuffs, but again only for a short time.

He leaned up against the side of the table and I ceased my struggles, trying to draw back from him, but unable to move very far. "Can you not tell?" he asked, smiling. "As a major in thanatology, I simply must have every Zombie on my side. If I don't know a species, it then must become mine and must become known to me. You will make a welcome addition to my forces."

There was a sudden itchy feeling on the side of my head and I tried my hardest to ignore it, since I had no ability to scratch it. "I want nothing to do with your undead army!" I argued fitfully. I then furiously added, "Oh, and just so we're clear, I am not undead. I'm not a Zombie, not technically, anyways."

Mr. Z gave me a strange look like he didn't know that already. You think someone who had extracted one of my organs would know more about me, but evidently not. Which reminds me, I still didn't know his real name. I was doubting the Mr. Z thing more and more by the second. Cover up, obviously, though maybe his name did start with a Z. "That might explain your odd evolution on Zombie kind." he said calmly. "You will, in due time, get used to being under my control, unless you really like being strapped down to a table. Perhaps I could extract your heart while you're here."

I started struggling violently against my bonds as a new sense of fear crept down my spine. despite the knowledge that I couldn't escape. I then argued, "Don't you dare extract my heart!"

"I could dare and I would dare." he answered plainly. "If you won't join my forces I can simply recreate you. Then I wouldn't have to worry about that little rebellious side of yours." He simply shrugged, throwing me a devious grin.

Suddenly, I felt strangely at a loss for words. I fell completely silent. I was trying to think of a decent comeback, some way to defend against his threat, but my list of effective comebacks was shockingly small since I had the inability to truly back any of them up under the grounds that I was still strapped down to a table. Loudly, I groaned. "Who exactly are you anyways?" I asked.

"You could tell me the same thing, alongside what you are." he retaliated, taking two small steps forward, nearing my head.

I released another long groan, knowing that I would probably have to answer his question. I was already trapped and I figured that if I didn't answer he would threaten to cut out another one of my organs, this time not such an innocent one. "I'm Shadow. Shadow Cipher." I began to tell him. "I'm part of a breed of what you could call living Zombies. I am a subspecies known as a Smoker. I don't know where the smoke comes from or how exactly my tongue grows at such an alarming rate, so don't bother asking."

While not seeming thoroughly happy with my response, he still seemed somewhat pleased, pleased enough to give me the time of day. "Hmm… I see." he mused for a few moments. "Alright, I shall tell you a little about myself. My name is Dr. Edgar George Zomboss. You may call me Edgar. I don't mind. I'm sure you've realized by now, but I go under the cover of Mr. Z to hide my obvious last name. As I said, I have a degree in thanatology. Though I myself am not a Zombie, though I may look like one, I create large numbers of them with a variety of different abilities." With another smile, he finished, "Does that help?"

Unwillingly, I nodded my head. It didn't really help in a useful way, but I guess it was good to know who I was dealing with. What else could I say or do at this point? I really did feel pathetic, strapped down to a table by some Zombie enthusiast. I felt like a lab frog preparing to be dissected.

He glanced down and I noticed he was once more digging in his pocket. What was he going to pull out this time? He pulled something out discreetly, making it so I couldn't see what he was holding. "Good." he said. "Now, are you still going to be a rebellious little one and defy me?"

"Obviously." I responded coyly, throwing him my best sarcastic smile, but that moment was short lived.

"I see." he mumbled to himself, though the way he spoke sounded like a mix of musing and menacing all at once. He reached out towards me and now I got to see what was in his hand. He was running something against my chest and I glanced down to see that it was a scalpel. I shivered timidly. Terror began to wash down my spine at the sight of the bladed tool sliding slowly down my chest, threatening to cut me open. Why did bad luck always favor me? Nothing ever went my way.

When I looked up at him, he shared with me a sort of toothy grin. It was then I knew what I had to do to get him to back up with the scalpel. Like it or not, I knew what my choices were, and I was definitely bordering on not. I had to do this. I would think of a way out, a way to escape this madman, but unless I wanted him slicing me open, I would have to listen to him. I didn't have a choice. The way he looked at me, he knew what I was thinking. His face was erupting with an eager joy. He knew. He had to.

Heaving a sigh before I said anything to him, I finally said, surrendering, "Fine. I'm not going to like it and it will mean absolutely nothing to me, but I will join your stupid Zombie army."

"Wonderful!" he cheered enthusiastically, clapping his hands together. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief as he lowered the scalpel, though he didn't pocket it. "I knew you would see my side of the story once you had some…" he smirked as he paused, running the scalpel menacingly across his tongue. "…time to think about it."

Edgar, for I couldn't bring myself to refer to him as Mr. Z anymore, or even Dr. Zomboss, which was technically his title, reached down underneath the table, pressing a button I obviously couldn't see. The cuffs shot back inside the table and I was free to most my limbs as I pleased. I watched as Edgar pocketed the scalpel.

I sat upright almost immediately, for it just felt wrong to be laying back against a table. I rubbed my wrists and ankles in an attempt to ease the cramping that had formed in them when then had been locked down. "Don't get too excited, though. I might be working with you, but it doesn't mean I support your cause, whatever your cause is, exactly. I then said to him spitefully.

I'm not quite sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but he seemed completely unfazed by my lack of support towards his cause. He was probably expecting it anyways. "I don't particularly care." he answered simply.

Subtly, I scooted myself forward, not wanting to give him a chance to lock me down to the table once again, in case he changed his mind, though I had to remind myself that he could probably overpower me. I edged forward until my legs were dangling over the side of the table. Back and forth I swung my legs, almost as if there were a feeling of bliss hidden within my heart. No, I didn't enjoy being near him, but yes, I enjoyed it more then being strapped down helplessly to a table.

"Anyways, I should take you out of this room. It really is downgrading, isn't it?" Edgar said to me, wandering near the door. Somehow, I had to agree with him. The room was peaceful, but it wasn't a place I wanted to be. "Representatives from my army are all over the place, so I should be able to introduce you to a handful of them." He opened the door, then eyed me for a moment. "I hope the thin air won't be an issue. For some reason the narrow hallway to this room is filled with more carbon dioxide then it is oxygen. Strange, really."

A heavy sigh passed out of my mouth, for I knew that would be loads of fun. I wasn't about to tell him, for it would make me look weak, but I knew the trip through the hallway would probably do that for me. As if being a forced soldier of a maniac's Zombie army isn't bad enough, now I have to pass through a hallway that will cause me to go into a coughing fit. Thin air plus lots of smoke does not have a good outcome.

Of course, I had absolutely no choice in whether I wanted to go down that hall or not. It was either pass through the thin-aired hallway or stay in this unnerving room. Even as asthmatic person would vote for the hallway. In this situation, I was the hostage and he was the kidnapper. So he had full control over me whether I liked it or not, and you can trust me when I say it's not.

I followed him out the door and into the hallway and certainly enough, I found myself having difficulty breathing shortly after we entered the hallway. Edgar walked swiftly, as though he had a goal in mind. It didn't take long for the musty air to get to me. I could feel the torment my lungs were being forced to endure. I wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. It was complete and utter torture.

Though not very well, I did attempt to hide my misery from Edgar. I was trying to hide how the air was bothering me, how it was tearing apart at my lungs. The lack of oxygen was ripping through me like a machete blade. I could feel the large increase of smoke in my system. I couldn't contain myself much longer. The smoke was increasing to life threatening levels.

Soon, I collapsed abruptly to my knees. Edgar didn't notice. He didn't slow his pace at all. I broke into a furious frenzy of wild and hoarse sounding coughs. Edgar did notice this, however, and stopped, turning around to see what had become of me and what was going on behind him.

"What exactly are you doing?" Edgar asked me suspiciously, looking at me as though I had lost my mind.

I tried my best to spit out the words, though I kept having to take breathes to get them out past the various coughing fits. "Too much… smoke… in my windpipes. Must… get the smoke… out before… I…. suffocate myself." I released a deadly cough and could say no more to him.

Edgar didn't appear too worried about the poor state I was in. He watched me for a few seconds, then asked me in a rather nonchalant tone, "Well, what exactly should be done about this?"

The entire time I was beating my back with my fist and I didn't understand how he couldn't comprehend what was going on. "Beat… my back… to release… the smoke." I heaved weakly.

In a very relaxed state of mind, Edgar wandered around me, heading to my backside. I heard a loud cracking of his knuckles. I couldn't wait much longer for someone to beat the smoke out of my system. What was he waiting for? Suddenly, a strong fist slammed against my back, unlike anything I had felt before.

With a very loud cough, I felt the smoke rushing up my throat. I rose unsteadily to my feet, stumbling back and forth. I leaned against Edgar for a moment, who didn't seem to mind. I then pushed him aside and hissed, "Move!" He took a small step to the right and I was surprise to see he obeyed me so easily. Luckily, he stepped out of the way at just the right moment, for right as he cleared the path, a very thick puff of yellow and green smoke escaped out of my throat.

"Does that smoke actually serve any real purpose or does it just exist because it simply can?" Edgar asked me simply, probably a very subtle way of learning more about my kind.

"It serves the purpose of greatly pissing me off." I hissed darkly in response. "Well, it does blind and gag my enemies, but that doesn't make up for all it puts me through." Trust me, I wish it did something more useful, but nothing I ever really perfect, is it? Sometimes you have to put up with little problems.

Edgar gave me a strange look, almost an unreadable look. Almost. I'll be completely honest, though, I wasn't exactly sure what to do with that expression. I wasn't sure whether I should feel complimented, insulted, or just plain indifferent. When all else fails and you can't think of what to do, sometimes it's best to pretend it doesn't matter and go with indifferent, thus that's what I went with.

Pushing my way past Edgar, I demanded with a hateful snarl, "Can we just get out of here already? The thin air in this hallway really isn't healthy for me and unless you'd like to see me break out into another coughing fit, it would be best that we departed." Edgar, disliking being passed, forced his way back into the front.

Putting emphasis on the first word he spoke, Edgar replied to me, "I shall lead the way, then." I noticed that strong emphasis on the word 'I' and quickly noted that he didn't like being a follower. Dually noted. I could tell he felt an absolute need to be at the front of the group at all times.

I began to follow Edgar once more and soon the hallway began to widen. I could tell we were finally leaving that musty hallway behind because I could feel a powerful sense of relief washing through my system. My lungs were taking in pure oxygen again and the smoke in my system was at ease. My lungs were able to grow and shrink at an average rate. Feeling relieved, I heaved a large sigh.

"Alright, alright. Let's get a move along now, little Zombie child." Edgar said to me, speaking to me in a manner that downgraded me.

I wasn't a Zombie and I wasn't a child, both things which I had brought to his attention before. However, without a valid argument or excuse to decline his rudeness and walk away, I was pretty much forced to accept his comment and move along with my life. Narrowing my eyes hatefully at him, though he didn't notice such an action, I followed him as he guided me further away from that terrible hallway. Anywhere was better then there. So I was almost glad to follow him.

On the way to wherever it was we were heading, I got to see the many unique Zombies he had in his forces. There were so many unique Zombies and I just happened to note that some of them had the same powers he had used during the fight, which made me come to think that he had the ability to access all of his Zombies' powers with that device on his arm. There were Zombies with ladders and screen doors, Zombies with pogo sticks and balloons. There was a Zombie driving a zamboni, which impressed me because that meant Zombies were intelligent enough to know how to drive, and he was followed by what appeared to be a bobsled team. There was a Zombie with a catapult, zombies on bungee cords that dropped other Zombies. The strangest in my eyes were either the enormous Zombie being supposedly driven by a smaller Zombie that happened to be holding a Zombie corpse as a weapon or the Zombie dance team headed by a Zombie that bore a striking resemblance to Michael Jackson.

These were nothing like the kind of Zombies I was familiar with. I was used to clawed zombies and fanged zombies. These were the strangest Zombies I had ever seen. "What in the world kind of Zombies are these?" I asked in pure astonishment, confusion lurking on my face as I spoke.

As I was asking this question, I came to notice a Zombie holding a vaulting pole was charging quickly in my direction. I screamed and flinched back, figuring he I was under attack, but nothing happened. I looked up to see the Zombie was launching itself over top of me.

The pole, no longer being supposed by the Zombie, fell towards me, bashing me on the head. I flinched momentarily, glanced back at the Zombie that had launched over me, then picked up the pole in my tongue. I held it above me as I examined it.

His hands held behind his back, Edgar explained with pride, "He's known as a pole vaulting Zombie." He smiled, pacing forward a little. I hazarded a glance back at the supposed 'pole vaulting' Zombie, but then looked back as Edgar as he continued speaking. "He's a fast running Zombie that uses his pole to leap over the first plant he comes in contact with. That one happens to be in a special training program so he can leap over a Tall-Nut."

Tilting my head ever so slightly to the side, I dared to inquire, "What, dare I ask this, in the world is a Tall-Nut?"

Edgar turned to face me, giving me a look like I just asked a really stupid question, like what grass was. He looked at me as though I should've known what a Tall-Nut was. "You've never heard of a Tall-Nut?"  
Deciding I would try not to sound stupid, I quickly countered with, "Well, you've obviously never heard of the infected before, or a Smoker, or anything of the such." Yeah, it probably wasn't the best comeback, but at this point it was something and that was enough for me.

With the way he was looking at me, I could tell Edgar wasn't very amused. I could also tell Edgar wasn't very amused by the way I countered him by looking at how he glared darkly at me. He then changed his expression back to neutral and said, "A Tall-Nut, since you asked, is a very tall walnut plant. It usually provided a very heavy duty wall against most Zombies and cannot be vaulted over."

"Plant?" I asked, spitting sarcasm in his face. I took a moment to collect my thoughts. He definitely said 'plant'. There was no denying it. "Let me get this straight. Your Zombies fight plants?"

Nodding plainly, Edgar responded to me, "Yes, they do." He didn't seem at all bothered by this fact.

"You mean like the kind of plants you put in the ground? Those kind of plants?" I asked, still unable to believe that his Zombies fought plants.

Staring quietly at me as though I were insane, Edgar once again answered, "Obviously." He still appeared oblivious to the plants vs. Zombies thing.

Still not believing what I was hearing, I further confirmed this plant concept by continuing, "Like plants that absorb carbon dioxide? Plants that release oxygen? Those sort of plants?"

"Are there any other kinds of plants?" Edgar asked as a response. He stared at me strangely for a second, then added, "You appear to be under the impression that there is another breed of plant."

From what he was saying, I could definitely confirm that, even though it sounded stupid no matter which way you put it, that his zombies fight plants. It's definitely what he said, but it still does make a lick of sense. I didn't give Edgar time to respond or even form another comment. I launched into a rant very suddenly. "What kind of stupid moron makes Zombies that eat plants." He rose a finger, but I wasn't done. "When you sat down and thought 'Oh, plant eating Zombies! What a marvelous idea!' were you drunk, or high or high and drunk? No, hold on. Your Zombies are losing to plants? Plants? Are your Zombies really that pathetic or are these plants like the gods of all things foliage?" Finally, I stopped my rant.

Edgar attempted to remain calm, though I could tell it was difficult for him. "Firstly, they eat brains too. Secondly, these plants can do things like shoot ice and catapult watermelons and explode instantly."

"Alright, I see your point… to a degree." I finally agreed, though I still had my doubts. "So what? You want me to defeat these plants? Attacking plants? Oh, that's scary. What's the worst that a plant could do?"

Edgar immediately turned my attention to the right. I glanced behind the glass to see what he was motioning me at. There was what appeared to be an enormous corn on the cob and I happened to notice that it had eyes. A large hoard of Zombies was slowly approaching the strange plant.

Suddenly, the plant reacted to the sight of the approaching Zombie onslaught. The corn cob plant then pointed itself into the sky. Suddenly, it fired off a full, giant, corn on the cob. I didn't see what was so scary about a giant corn on the cob, even as it began to rain down on the Zombies, but as it hit the ground, it suddenly exploded aggressively, taking every Zombie with it in a blazing inferno.

"That shouldn't be legal!" I gasped, watching the seemingly innocent plant perform a lethal strike on the Zombies. "What did you do to that plant? Giant corn on the cob is one thing. I can see people mutating their corn on the cob to be big. However, when your corn explodes like a nuclear bomb, there is some concern to be expressed."

Edgar was standing beside me, peering into the glass with a grimace on his face. "So you see my issue, now?" He asked me, looking in my general direction. "This is why I need you, why I've recruited you to my army. I need your help. I need a new Zombie that these plants won't be able to counter. I need you to defeat these plants and help me take down the defiant homeowner that keeps planting them."

Suddenly, I turned in his direction, shock haunting my expression. He still gazed at the lethal plant, but I knew he was listening to me. "You want me to face up to exploding corn on the cob? Listen, Edgar, I'm made to maul humans, not fight some genetically altered plants. I'm violent, not stupid." I huffed, then added, "Being suicidal is not on my list of things to do today."

For a while, Edgar fell upon deaf ears. He continued staring into the glass, staring at the giant corn on the cob as it waited for more prey to step into its path. He remained as mystically silent as ever. He looked rather dejected, sighing heavily from time to time. I know this whole plants vs. Zombies things means a lot to him, but I really had no desire to face giant, explosive corn on the cob.

Help the kidnapper? What kind of mental insanity was back behind that nonsense. I was never the helpful type. I suffered from a horrible laziness. I hardly ever finish any person projects, nonetheless helped anyone else. Though once I began to feel badly for someone or believed strongly in a cause, I held strong to that belief for pretty much the rest of my life.

For some reason, I believed strongly in this plants vs. Zombies concept. Maybe it was because I had seen the raw power of these plants myself, maybe it wasn't. Whatever the case, I knew that if I declined Edgar that it would haunt me for many years to come and besides, it wasn't like I had anything better to do. Once again, I heaved a deep sigh. Now, I know what I had to do.

"I'm not going to like it, but I will help you defeat these biological monstrosity plants and…" I paused mid sentence, for I suddenly realized that even though he had many times brought up the concept of plants fighting zombies… or was it zombies fighting plants? Anyways, though he had brought that up many times, he had never signified a valid reason behind why exactly we had to defeat these plants. "What exactly is the reason behind this plant battle?" I dared to ask.

All I wanted was a single sentence, a simple answer. Instead, Edgar gave me a novel of a response. Edgar turned to face me, his hands behind his back, and explained, "My Zombies are taking over a neighborhood for me. I want to conquer this world, one neighborhood at a time. Every house we've defeated the homeowner, except for one. Except for one sole house. The homeowner keeps putting up plants, plants which destroy my Zombies. I can always create more, but that's beyond the point. We've tried everything. Day assault, night assault, stormy weather, foggy weather, front yard, back yard, rooftop… I even arrived in my Zombot and every single time we've been knocked down, knocked back by those blasted plants." He had a Zombie robot? Why was I not surprised? "All I need you to do is think of a way to get my Zombies into that house, or get yourself into that house. Whichever works is fine with me. My Zombies need to eat the brains of the homeowner." I knew there had to be something stereotypical about Edgar's giant hoard of Zombies.

Narrowing my eyes at him as he finished explaining himself, I mumbled in response, "Brain eating Zombies? Really?" After a loud groan, I added, "Fine, that's fine. However, as a flesh eating infected, I simply must have the rights to the flesh of the homeowner if I am to help you."

After a short moment of silence, Edgar finally looked up at me, emphasis on the up, and responded, "Oh alright. I can grant you that. My Zombies much prefer the brains anyways." He then tilted his head, an eager glint in his eyes, and asked me, "So you'll help me?"

I shrugged in response. Initially that was all I was going to do, but I ended up saying, "Eh, I guess so." As if I have the option to say no.

Honestly, though, it was kind of an insult to my abilities to be forced to work alongside stereotypical slow walking, brain eating Zombies. What was Edgar goal in life, exactly? I had yet to completely comprehend why it was of such importance to him to take over this one house. Was it a revenge sort of thing?

I was starting to begin to think that his goal in life was to completely downgrade my existence, to make me feel as insignificant as his Zombies, which just wasn't true. I was much stronger and more intelligent then his Zombies. If that was his goal, he can definitely check it off his list as being complete, because he's done a very good job of doing just that. I was definitely now in the category of downgraded, but I had stopped caring a while ago. The longer I spent at his side, the longer I stayed with him, the more I began to believe that was his goal.

Where was the ability to pass through solid walls when you needed it? It seemed like us infected never quite got the powers we needed or deserved, not that I could see an infected needing the ability to pass through walls. It seems like the power giving system is very unkind to my kind, though I can vouch sympathy to Edgar's Zombies. At least I have speed, intelligence, and hunting prowess. His Zombies don't appear to really have any of those qualities.

Edgar abruptly stepped in front of me and I couldn't help but look down on him suspiciously. I really didn't like the way he was looking up at me. It unnerved me, but what could I do about it? He was still in control. It was nerve wracking, though not nearly as much as being strapped down to a table. At least now I had the choice to turn tail and flee, even if I wouldn't get very far.

"Are we going to proceed with our plan now or not?" Edgar asked abruptly, turning away from me as though I was no longer of interest to him. He was acting rather innocent about this plan too.

I shrugged at him, though he of course didn't notice because he wasn't looking my direction. So I responded, "I guess so."

"Good. Glad to hear you're on board." Edgar said cheerfully, turning around to look at me. There was still something unnerving about the little fellow. It wasn't his appearance. I had gotten over that a long time ago, but there was definitely something that unnerved me about him. "How's about we take this outside? It's really quite stuffy inside my lab." So he's finally admitting that the air in this building in un-breathable?

With another hapless shrug, this time one he saw, I replied, "Eh, sure." I didn't feel the need to say anything else.

Edgar quickly said, taking a step aside, "Let us be on our way, then." He then started down the hallway, ignoring me as though he knew for certain I would follow. I threw a glance at the corn on the cob plant, which I now realized was watching me. Feeling uncomfortable at the thought of something so dangerous looking at me, and feeling that the glass wouldn't stop its assault should it choose to go after me, I fled after Edgar. A short while later, he turned to me and asked, "What is the giant tongue for anyways? Does it help you hunt? I remember you saying you hunt humans, correct?"

No, I really didn't want to explain myself further to him, but I figured I was going to be stuck with him for a while and besides, if he had studied me as closely as I think he did, then he probably would figure it out on his own anyways. Might as well humor him. "Well, considering I eat human flesh, that would imply that I hunt humans. So yes, the tongues help me hunt."

It was now I realized that Edgar actually appeared interested in me. I don't know if that was his thanatological mind speaking or if he was just haplessly curious, but regardless, he was interested. He then asked, "So, what part do the tongues play?"

The tongues on my head flicked back and forth playfully, almost as though they wanted to play with Edgar. They were like cat tails as they flicked back and forth and I was surprised that Edgar wasn't watching them. "As aforementioned, the ones on my head don't actually do anything. They're just there to look threatening. I use the one in my mouth to constrict prey so I can maul them without having to worry about them escaping. It can shoot hundred of meters and grows back in a few seconds if snapped." I explained to him as simply as possible.

After I explained, Edgar must have forgotten something in his mind, because he then asked, "Well, what does all of that smoke do?"

I wanted to tell him that I had already told him, but he would never listen to me. Not even for a second. I fell silent, still wishing the smoke did do something useful, but it didn't. "Not really." I began to explain once more. "It makes me easily go into coughing fits and makes it easier for people to detect me. Luckily we're not in a Zombie apocalypse or anything, so nobody's shooting me." I decided to stop there, figuring he would eventually recall what I had already told him.

Edgar appeared satisfied with my answer, luckily. It was as good of an answer as any. I figured we were finished with the question answer session, as he was silent now, but then he abruptly asked, "Are you half blind?"

It was clear he wanted to know as much about me as possible. Just how long was he planning on keeping me trapped here? I fell into a state of silence, something that appeared to be common for me. I then reached up gently, running my hand over where my right eye used to be. I felt nothing like an eye, however. Instead I was running my hand over a disgusting collection of boiled skin. It was true, though. This strangely growth on my face completely covered my right eye. "Yes." I finally answered a trifle sadly. "The growth makes me blind in my right eye."

"Goodness." Edgar replied in amazement. "How ever do you experience depth perception with only one eye?" I shrugged as he asked that question, not really having a valid answer to it. I had never thought about depth perception when I was in my infected form. "Hunting must be a trifle complicated, hmm?"

"Not really." I admitted in response. Not that I had to hunt like your average infected, considering as aforementioned there is no apocalypse going on, but even if there was, I wouldn't be bothered by the growth. "I still have hearing and smelling to track my prey's location and take them down."

Pausing in thought, Edgar fell into a state of silence. He then spoke his mind, responding, "I guess I never thought of it like that." He took another couple of seconds to think and I was desperately hoping that it wasn't another bothersome question about me. Finally, he said, "Anyways, you appear to be able to hide your undead side, am I right?"

I placed my hands behind my back, which felt a little odd to do for some reason. I attempted to fix my posture, to stand up straight, but it just didn't come naturally to me. Giving up, I responded, "Well, yes, but I'm not undead." I think I mentioned that once or twice. "I am actually very much alive. You can say I'm ageless."

That might have sounded logical enough to me. I had heard myself say it a thousand times and it didn't seem at all bizarre. I realized, now, however, that he was used to dealing to true Zombies, the living dead. So as logical as it sounded to me, a living Zombie probably sounded off the charts to him. "A living Zombie?" he asked in astonishment. "Well, there's something new."

Right as I nodded nonchalantly, we exited the building, entering the fresh air of the outside world. I certainly wasn't expecting what I saw. I was amazed to see the Edgar's supposed base was what appeared to be a regular house placed perfectly on top a large hill, a hill covered with lush grass, swaying playfully in the breeze. Lush, perfectly alive grass. Not what I was expecting at all.

At the bottom of the hill I could see what appeared to be a small neighborhood. It seemed to consist only of a few streets, streets lined with rather small houses. It took me a moment to see from this distance, but I realized that most of the lawns and homes were overrun by Zombies, which confirmed the fact that Edgar had been trying to take over this neighborhood. There was one house, however, rather close to Edgar's, which bright and multicolored spotlights were shining into, that was instead filled with a number of strange plants, plants which were shooting down and destroying the Zombies with quite a bit of ease.

"See that house down there?" Edgar asked me with a loud huff, motioning to the house I was already looking at, where plants were destroying large numbers of Zombies. "That is the girl who dares to defy my rightful claim."

That was nice and all, but I saw something strange about this plan as I stared at the small neighborhood that was slowly dying away at the bottom of the hill. Deciding I had every right to ask this question, I inquired, "So let's just rewind for a second. This neighborhood you're taking over, you live in it? Why in the world would you try to dominate your own neighborhood?"

Edgar crossed his arms, as though he was showing his overall distaste for my commentary. I, however, thought it was completely necessary to confirm such a thing. "I am dominating my own neighborhood because everyone that lives here is an idiot." he replied simply.

I rolled my eyes at his response, attempting to display my sarcasm and disdain for his response. "Oh yes." I huffed loudly. "That's a totally valid reason to sic Zombies on your neighbors."

Naturally, Edgar wasn't going to hear what I was saying. He was completely convinced that his reason for attacking his neighbors was completely justified and he wouldn't be having any defiance. He threw me a hateful glare, a devilish glint in his eyes. I looked down almost immediately, now deciding that it was probably better if I kept my commentary to myself. It was clear that Edgar was already set in stone with his plans and the last thing I wanted was to end up strapped to that table again.

"Look, Zombie girl!" Edgar hissed hatefully in my ear. I was about to inform him once more that I was not a Zombie, but he suddenly leaped up and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, yanking me down on my knees so that he now stood taller then I did. He kept his grip on the collar of my shirt firm as he continued, "I can easily strap you back down to that table and extract your vital organs one by one. Now, how would you like that?" I shuddered fearfully. "Answer me!"

Fear raced through my ever timid heart. He might have been a small fellow and not all that intimidating on his own, but as I was now learning, his rage could reach monumental sizes. Submission was swiftly racing over me like a rogue wave. With terror, I responded shakily, "I'm sorry! It won't happen again!"

Edgar let go of me suddenly and I collapsed to the ground in a small huddle of pathetic. I quickly clambered back to my feet, shaking myself off and glaring at him spitefully as I massaged my neck. It felt so wrong to feel so much fear towards on little fellow, but I did and there was no denying it.

When I got to my feet, Edgar suddenly grabbed hold of my wrist, yanking me forward a little. Pure fear and terror was still at rest in my soul. He finally stopped and let go of my wrist and I went to rub it, for his little fingers had a terribly strong grip, but he abruptly pushed me towards the ground, and I, fearful of him, sank immediately. Edgar then reached into what appeared to be a small hole, which held a chain and collar underneath. I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be for a dog or what, but he was using it now and that was all that mattered. He wrapped the collar around my neck and locked it together with a fine click. I felt myself being yanked towards the ground for a minute, but I fought to keep in a sitting position.

"Now, you wait here while I prepare myself." Edgar said to me simply. It wasn't as though I had a choice at this point. He took several steps forward and I watched in amazement as the ground below his feet slowly sank underneath him, taking him with it to whatever was waiting underground.

It became clear to me as I sat in the grass, waiting for Edgar to return, that he still didn't trust my intentions. He had to have. Why else would he have chained me to the ground if he knew he would only going to be gone for a few moments? He was a smart man, however, for I myself was ready to make a break for it the second a window opened. He was certainly keeping that window closed.

I stumbled over myself in fear as I heard a loud crashing sound. The chain tugged fiercely at my neck and I fought against it as I tried to return to a sitting position. I stared intensely in the direction Edgar had departed in, wondering what ever could be going on. I was soon given my answer. Rising from the platform in the ground was what appeared to be a very large and lethal looking robot of sorts. I stumbled back from it fearfully, scrambling backwards until the chain argued that I could go no further, tugging at my neck. It stopped me dead in my tracks.

Fearful I would be crushed by the thing, I released a furious scream, attempting to scramble back from it, but still being stopped by the collar. It didn't move towards me and I finally looked up in it. Sitting in the cockpit was none other then Edgar.

Edgar pressed a button on the robot, though he was too high up for me to see which button. The robot sank down to the ground until it could go no lower. It was still taller then be with ease, but now Edgar didn't hover over me so much. He was closer to my level. The robot cast a deep shadow across me. "Do you fear the Zombot?" asked Edgar with a smile. "I wouldn't. It will be carrying you to the house."

With the press of another button, the collar around my neck unlocked itself and with nothing to hold it up, it and the chain raced back into the hole in the ground, releasing me. I was already to my feet, about to flee, when suddenly the Zombot's large hand reached down for me and scooped me up before I could make my escape.

I struggled in the large robotic hand's powerful grip, trying to break free. I simply wasn't strong enough. Not even close. He had built this robot of his to be perfect in every way. I couldn't so much as budge its grip. The hand stopped moving and I could feel the motion of the Zombot standing up once more. After a couple of violent, shaking steps forward, I gave up my struggles.

Suddenly, the hand encircled me, trapping me within. There was, surprisingly, plenty of room to move within the hand's clenched fist. I beat furiously against the side of the hand, fearing suffocation. "I hope you're aware there aren't any vents in here! Maybe your Zombies don't need oxygen, but I do, and I'm going to end up suffocating on my own smoke." I argued loudly, hoping he would hear me. It was true. The hand might have been roomy, but with nowhere for my pent up smoke to go, it began to encircle me in a deadly cloud.

Of course, Edgar already had a smart mouthed response prepared for the very thing I said. I was initially glad he heard me, but then he said, "We're almost there. Just hold on to yourself for five more seconds and you'll be fine." I yelped loudly as the hand shook furiously, probably a signal for me to silence myself.

I would have huffed loudly and crossed my arms, but I decided against the huff because it would only release more smoke into the already smoky area. Instead I simply crossed my arms and pretended to huff in my mind.

The Zombot shook violently and I yelped once more. It was as though the Zombot had jumped over something, but what? Eventually, however, the movement of the Zombot ceased and I found I could calm myself a little. When I sensed this, I struggled fitfully against the Zombot's large hand, a feeble attempt to escape into the fresh air outside the Zombot.

Suddenly, I felt the quick motion of the robotic hand lowering itself down. I didn't know what was going on, but I hoped that it would be good news for me. Relief washed over me as the hand opened up, giving me room to step out into fresh air. A large cloud of yellow and green smoke cascaded into the sky, vanishing into the wind. I could breathe easily once more.

I observed my surroundings to see what was going on. I was standing haplessly on the roof of someone's house. I glanced behind me to see the Zombot, which was sitting down Zombies as it had sat me down, Zombies that slowly wandered towards the onslaught of plants.

I reached into my pocket, pulling out something I had pick pocketed from Edgar while he wasn't paying attention to me. It was a chart of sorts and the chart pretty much explained the different kinds of plants to expect at this time. There were only supposed to be three direct offensive plants and two more defensive plants, three if you counted the Flower Pot, which I didn't. It was then I noticed a subtext that noted that the homeowner had started bring their own plants to this fight.

I jumped timidly to the side as one exceptionally thick plant catapulted a large, green watermelon at me. The watermelon hit the roof and shattered, missing me by mere inches. As it shattered apart, it splashed me with watermelon juices.

Shaking off the juice, I glanced around the rooftop setting, glad that Edgar was much too focused on the enemy plants to notice I was still just standing there. Various plant parts flew from the sky all around me. Kernels, butter, watermelons, cabbages… all of it cascaded wildly around me. All of the Zombies, regardless of their species, were falling over in defeat.

Once again, I found something being launched at me by one of the plants. I didn't have time to see which plant had attacked me, but I did manage to react before I was splattered. Instinct to defend took over and I shot my tongue out at the oncoming square of butter. It landed on my tongue and I quickly slurped it back it, swallowing the butter with ease. Human food never tasted as good as it used to.

It was then I realized where my advantage came from. Everywhere around me Zombies were walking straight through the onslaught of plants, not bothering to even try to dodge the attacks. They just let themselves get hit. I had eaten the butter, but the Zombies would just stand there, dazed and confused as the butter splashed onto their heads.

Energy was rushing into my heart and suddenly I felt adrenaline rushing through my veins. I felt as though I could take out every plant on this roof with ease. I knew how I could win this. As I sidestepped an oncoming cabbage, I could see the fear in the plants eyes, for they had never seen anything quite like me. Every plant that shot something at me was stopped dead, for I would shoot my tongue out at the plants and throw what they catapulted at me off the side of the roof.

The largest plant on the roof, which sat in the middle of the roof, a little towards the back, narrowed its eyes at me. This plant was nowhere on Edgar's charts, but I didn't need to read a chart to know exactly what plant this was. This yellow and green plant that eyed me was none other then that lethal Cob Cannon plant. It began to grow angry as I wrapped my tongue around the pots that held various plants, throwing them off the roof like they were nothing.

I froze where I stood, staring up at the Cob Cannon as it began to move itself. It pointed itself into the sky just like the one in Edgar's lab had done, but I didn't need any hint to know it was aiming for me. There was no way I could dodge a giant corn on the cob. Fear raced over me as the plant shot the corn into the air.

I lowered myself timidly as the corn on the cob began flying towards me. I was prepared to be blasted into fine bits, to be finished off by the very plant I had feared most. Right before it hit me, however, I felt something grab hold of me. I yelped loudly as I felt the motion of myself being twisted upside down. Below me, somehow, was the giant piece of corn, now heading towards seemingly nothing.

Wondering who or what had saved me from being killed by giant corn, I glanced over to the side curiously. I found that holding me was one of those pole vaulting Zombies. He had grabbed me at the last second and vaulted us over the lethal plant. Never did I know Zombies had a mind to react on their own. We flipped over and landed on the roofing, the giant piece of corn exploding violently behind us, sending little pieces of corn flying everywhere. We landed coolly.

Turning around to face the pole vaulting Zombie, I said in astonishment, "You just saved me from the Cob Cannon." I tilted my head a little to the side, staring at the Zombie, then added, "Why'd you do it?"

The Zombie gazed at me silently after I asked my question as if it were confused by the question. Maybe he didn't know what had overcome him, what had caused him to rush in and save me. I earned no response.

"That was really nice." I said with a smile to the pole vaulting Zombie. "So, thank you." I didn't expect a response.

Expecting no response, I once again got none. Nothing but a quiet stare. It was then a thought occurred to me. Perhaps these Zombies are missing the speech part of their brains. Perhaps they can comprehend the words I say, but they have no way of responding back to me. Maybe my words meant nothing to them. I would never know. He gazed down at the charred remains of what the Cob Cannon had hit.

I looked down at the small pile of charred remains. It took me a moment to notice, but that wasn't Zombie remains sitting on the roof, but instead the remains of his pole. "Is that your pole?" I asked.

He gazed up at me silently as his response. I took his gaze as a yes anyways. It simply had to be his pole.

"Allow me to replace that." I began. I then glanced to the plants, shocked to see none of them were attacking either of us. "First, however, I have some business to attend to." He seemed to understand and watched as I dashed bravely ahead, heading straight for the plants. My first order of business was to push that Cob Cannon off the roof. I placed my hands on its side, pushing at it forcefully. It fell off the back of the roof and I heard a loud splash as it fell into the pool in the backyard.

It was then I noticed I was the only thing on this roof that had managed to make its way past all of the plants. The Zombies were still having a hard time of it, even with all the plants I had thrown off the roof. I stood there, wondering how I was going to enter a house from the roof.

It took me several long moment of staring, but then I realized there was a chimney to the house waiting a couple strides away from me. It wasn't much, but as I gazed into the hole, I realized there was just enough room for me to wriggle myself into it and make my way into the house. So I perched myself on the chimney, overlooking the hoard of Zombies one last time.

Then, I timidly scrambled head first in through the hole in the chimney. It was uncomfortable to be inside a chimney and the air was thick with smoke. I coughed slightly as I attempted to scramble down the chimney. I was forced to kick and scramble with all my might to make any progress.

Eventually, my head popped out through the fireplace and I wondered why the person living in this house didn't just light a fire there to stop Zombies from sneaking in the house through the chimney. It seemed logical enough to me. I pushed my feet against the wall of the chimney, forcing my entry into the house. As I made it into the house, I shook the soot off myself.

The inside of the house was dark and dank. There was a musty feeling to this house. Not quite as bad as that hallway in Edgar's lab, but it wasn't far from it either. The whole atmosphere of the house was rather unnerving to say the least. All of the lights in the house were turned off, curtains all drawn shut. Strewn over he ground were various seed packets, which I knew had produced the plants that had so many times stopped the Zombie attacks. I was literally swimming in empty seed packets. It was then I noticed there was a small figure huddled in the middle of the room, a dark shadow hidden amongst the blackness of the house's interior.

They, at first, didn't seem to notice me standing here. Perhaps they were so absorbed in what was going on outside on the roof that they didn't notice me. As I took a step forward, the floor creaked. The shadow moved slightly, glancing up at me with its quiet eyes.

The figure rose, moving into the slight light. I could now tell that it was a girl, much like myself. She was a trifle on the ratty side and it showed just how long she had been fighting these Zombies off. She seemed rather surprised to see me standing in her living room. She watched me with fearful eyes, observing me.

"How…!?" she gasped as she saw that one of Edgar's minions had somehow made it into her house. "I didn't see any balloon Zombies. I watched him come from my window! My plants… aren't they still lined up strongly. How ever could you have gotten past my defenses? How!?"

I licked my lips eagerly with my long tongue, which served to unnerve her. I responded, "Of course your plants are still there. I only pushed a few off your plants off the roof, mostly that blasted Cob Cannon. I can easily stop what your plants throw at me." Flicking my tongue out of my mouth like a sneaky serpent, I finished, "I can leap over them, or slip around them. Very simple."

Shock washed over the girl as I explained myself to her. I thought I had sounded pretty straightforward, and for a moment I thought she was too stupid to understand me, but then she confirmed her real shock by saying, "You speak perfect English? I mean, I've seen your guys write notes and what not, but I've never heard a Zombie speak fluent English before."

With a smirk, I added, "Honey, I'm fluent in English, German, and Latin. That's two more languages then you'll ever get to know."

She continued to look upon me in fear, backing away from me so that I couldn't harm her. "A smart Zombie? He created a smart Zombie? What exactly is this world coming to?" she cried in fear.

"Are you suggesting that all Zombies are stupid?" I hissed loudly, and lunged towards her, taking a violent swing at her. She just barely managed to dodge my attack and I tried to calm myself, but to no avail. "How dare you!? I'll have you know that I come from an off-breed of infected that are very, very intelligent, probably more intelligent then you. Maybe you would like to know what makes me such a good hunter?"

The expression on the homeowner's face continued to be ridden with a degree of shock and overall astonishment. I could tell the surprise of my existence hadn't even began to fade away from her mind. Fear pulsated between the shock in her eyes.

As she backed away from me timidly, she tripped idiotically over a book laying in the ground. She didn't fall to the ground, but she did stumble a little. Finally coming back to her senses, she reached down and picked up the book, flipping through its pages. "You aren't even in the Suburban Almanac." she cried fearfully as she wildly flipped through the book's pages.

Hastily, I lunged towards her, snatching the book right out of her hand and slamming it closed. "Forget the book!" I hissed with a powerful, hateful spite. She watched as I turned to the side, chucking her precious book right out the window, the glass shattering wildly as the book escaped to the outside world. The glass nearly hit who I now realized was a bypassing Edgar and a few of his Zombies.

She watched in terror the launching of her book out the window. That book had been her guide to plants and Zombies alike and it had never lied to her, until today. She had been locked up in this darkened house for a very long time. She had been planting her plants, caring for them with love, and reading her books, learning how to take on the new kinds of Zombies that attacked her. So long had she been in this house safely that she had become much too comfortable with it.

I was growing very tired of listening to her speak. Her voice was like a blade running across my heart and I needed no more of it. "Silence your mouth!" I yelled loudly, which startled her. "I no longer wish to speak with you. You die now!"

Without giving her so much as a warning, I shot my tongue out at her. It reared in front of her and she stumbled back a couple of steps. Suddenly, my tongue wrapped around her, binding her arms against her torso. I tugged slightly, feeling my tongue's grip on her body becoming much stronger. I could also feel her feeble struggles.

"What in the world are you doing?" the girl shrieked loudly, having never faced up to anything like me.

Hissing and spitting loudly, I answered, "Killing you in my own style!" As I yelled at her, I stood my ground against her, knowing that she would be completely defenseless against my attack tactics, for she was not used to them. I yanked back in my direction, reeling my tongue in and with it, my prey. Unlike most of my prey, who struggled furiously in my grip and tried to stop me from reeling them in, she simply yelped loudly and stumbled forward as I reeled her in. It was so simple for me to pull her back in towards me. She stopped in front of me, her eyes still ridden with that powerful sense of fear towards me. She struggled poorly against me, trying to escape.

Suddenly, I dove in towards her. I slashed at her skin with muscle wildly with my claws. Her screams echoed across the room as I tore her apart, but that didn't stop me from continuing what I was doing. Soon enough, I had formed a small opening in her skin and I forced my mouth into the opening, ripping apart her skin further and beginning to devour her flesh. I was able to tear the flesh off easily, silence her petrified screams. My raging hunger caused me to feed in a wild frenzy. I was furiously ripping off chunks of flesh and forcing them down my throat, picking it off the bones and lapping up the juicy remains as I fed.

As I was finishing with my feast, I happened I notice that Edgar and a few of his Zombies made their way in through the now unguarded front door. Through the window, I could see that he had his Zombot parked alongside the edge of the house, several bungee Zombies dangling playfully from the Zombot's fingers.

I glanced up at Edgar as he entered the room with his Zombies, my feast now almost entirely finished. I reached for the girl's head, yanking out the pulsing pink organ that waited inside. "Here." I spat. "I saved this for your rotting brain eaters." With great force, I chucked the pulsing pink organ towards Edgar and his Zombies.

Most of the Zombies who had been following Edgar now raced with excitement in their eyes towards the brain. I watched for a few seconds as they fought like wild animals over the little organ, then turned around and made my way into the backyard, departing the house through the back door.

It was staring to grow dark outside as night was falling. Sitting in the middle of the yard was a lone plant. It was a bright red magnet growing on top of a very small purple mushroom. It eyes were closed peacefully as it slumbered on, but soon it opened its eyes uncertainly, blinking as it looked around the yard, waking from its deep slumber as night fell. The red magnet mushroom was watching me curiously now. It occurred to me that this was a solely defensive plant.

Coming up behind me, I could smell what I was fairly certain was one of the pole vaulting Zombies. I glanced back to confirm such a thing. It was the one who had lost his pole to the Cob Cannon. I completely ignored him and turned back to the magnet plant, yelling at it, "What are you staring at you stupid overgrown magnet thing?"

The magnet plant immediately stopped its playful swaying motions. I could tell the swaying motions were meant to portray senses of happiness or joy, but there was no happiness or joy for the plant to feel now. I could see the fear in it's eyes as it watched me quietly.

Coming up beside me was the pole vaulting Zombie. He stopped at my side, glancing curiously at the magnet plant. Looking up at him, I muttered, "Oh, hello there." I fell on deaf ears for a moment. "I don't believe I caught your name. What was it?"

"Magnet!" the pole vaulting Zombie eagerly responded with a large smile. I was glad to see he could talk.

It took me a moment to realize such a thing, but then I noticed the Zombie was just repeating what I had yelled at the plant. He wasn't as intelligent as I thought him to be. "No, that's what I called the plant. I want to know what you're called."

However, the pole vaulting Zombie persisted in what it had answered before, once again crying, "Magnet!"

Eventually, realizing that he wasn't going to change his mind, I decided just to let him think his name was Magnet. Maybe his name really was Magnet. I would never know for certain. Something in my mind told me that he didn't even have a name to begin with, but I knew I could also be wrong and thus I made no confirmations in my mind. Perhaps I had done him a favor, given him a name. Even though it made absolutely no sense to call a pole vaulting Zombie Magnet, it was still a slightly cute name.

It was then I noticed he was twisting around a pole cheerfully. I don't know how, but he must have gotten a new pole. "Hey, Magnet! Where'd you get a new vaulting pole from?" I inquired upon him curiously.

I didn't expect him to actually understand what I was asking him, but that quickly showed to be wrong as he looked down at his pole for a moment. To my surprise, he understood me. He then glanced behind him, casting a single finger upon the small figure standing alone in the doorway. Standing right where he was pointing at was none other then Edgar, who glanced once more at his Zombies, then headed out the door.

Turning back to face Magnet, I responded, "Edgar got you a new pole? Well, wasn't that shockingly nice of him." I was beginning to get mixed thoughts about Edgar. "Maybe he's nicer then he's leading me on to think he is."

All of this time, Edgar had never really been very nice to me and I had never really sat down to think about why that was. It got me to thinking that there had to be a reason for the way he had treated me, even if it wasn't quite the logical answer I was looking for. It never occurred to me until now, but perhaps he was shy or untrusting of others and that's why he was so cruel to me. Perhaps he had suffered from a powerful betrayal. Maybe he was afraid I would betray him, decide not to help him stop the plants from destroying his Zombies. He could have thought that forcing large doses of fear in my heart would set my allegiance to him in stone.

Magnet pushed his vaulting pole into the ground. He then fell quiet, probably unsure of what to do. He stared at Edgar.

Edgar was approaching the two of us now, walking swiftly. No Zombies followed him and I wondered if they were still inside the house fighting over the brain. "More helpful then I thought." Edgar muttered quietly. "Well, we should probably get back to the lab and plot our next domination." I decided to go, but I had to wonder, would this plants vs. Zombies concept ever mean anything to me?


End file.
